|Nice character Asora only problem is your power is a bit op as in doing to many things and Plasma not invented i think in the dreamworld also that would be everyone's weakness seeing as how potent it is to flesh and fur.|
Shadow your character is confusing and i can't read it without getting confused.
|Damn, I knew my DK as a little bit over the top actually. I going to try and change some of the details, and I'll let you know if the changes I made are okay. |
Also, what did you meant by "shadow your character"?
|was talking about Shadowcat321's character that was posted before yours|
|Oh, okay then. I checked his comment on his DK Character Profile, and I don't really see the confusion anywhere. Sorry if I didn't spot it. |
Anyways, there we go. I changed some of the details on my DK profile. Tell me what you think about it so far.
|Okay Asora, I guess I can take a bit to give feedback on your character, though it probably wont be the most typical feedback you would expect as when I typically do this its for system based RPG characters which do provide a bit better of a basis for judging 'power levels'.|
A) Even his known powers are truly excessive in the grand scale of things, though telling you how to actually determine whether or not a set is excessive is not a very precise science. One approach I tend to suggest is:
Come up with 3 ways that a team of Shock Troops could take down your character with the following restrictions:
1) The Shock Troops should be able to execute the plan in no more than 10 minutes without doing anything horribly irresponsible(like blowing up everything) or requiring having illogical items on hand.
2) Its effectiveness compared to a typical character should be inversely proportional to the odds of it happening. (The one outlier beings things such as 'weak to guns' are sufficiently common that they need not be extra effective)
3) Said weakness doesn't consist of endless waves of troops running into a meat grinder.
4) No combination of your characters abilities can trivially counter the take down plan.
If this thought exercise takes more than 5 minutes your character is probably too powerful.
B) Having another yet unrevealed power on top of it is certainly not helping with A
C) Either make the character mysterious or not mysterious, as it keeps on hopping back and forth between them. My typical approach to get a more cohesive description of what others should know about your character is to write up what the character would tell a friendly face after having a drink or two more than they should have in response to being asked about themselves. (it matters not if your character would actually drink or not.) I find that this helps as usually one would expect them to forget the minor details that don't really matter to others, while saying a bit too much about the important things giving others something to work with. (A personal favorite for starting off a game is to have the entire party mildly drunk theoretically answering a friendly stranger's questions about their past, as it helps everyone get to know the other characters even if it happens outside of the timeline.)
D) Tesla Heisenburg is a tad bit too obvious of a reference from out of setting.
E) Proofreading/spellchecking is a good thing to do for things like this.
|Ahhhhhhhh, well then, I screwed up. |
Okay, here's what I am I going to do. I am going to try and put in some major changes on my DK profile, then I will send you (Corvus) a message on what I have so far. Then you'll tell me whether or not my DK profile is good enough for posting it again. Does that sound good to you?
Also, I revisited the DK profile that we are talking about and I spotted barley any spelling errors. I think it could just be me or-wait-if somebody posts a comment right? Then after they post it, they realize that their comment has spelling errors, so after they do that, someone else posts a comment after theirs. So, can that person spot the changes on their computer, or all they see is a comment that has major mistakes and spelling errors on it?
If thats the case, then I think I can only spot the changes on my computer and you guys are actually viewing the original. Oh dang......
|After much thinking since I have it sitting around, may as well throw out a sample character for anyone who needs an idea of what is reasonable:|
Name: Aria Matya
Power: Slight of hand - Aria has the ability to place things 'elsewhere', outside of reality. Typically she can hold the equivalent of a large handbag in this 'elsewhere' without significant effort, when she is storing larger items it reveals her orange halo as well as putting a drain on her strength.
Skills: A Knack for acrobatics and 'magic' tricks, combined with the ability to climb walls makes her a true terror to her friends.
Appearance: A 5'7" gray colored lizardess with brilliant green eyes and pale orange stripes, typically dressed in the latest fashions that are both practical and arguably modest.
Personality: A trickster at heart always out for a bit of fun, and a love of the tease. While her practical jokes may seem mean spirited, she simply does them in jest, and saves the 'best' of the bunch for her friends(Who in turn think they are the worst of them.) Further while she is not busy with her pranking she is always willing to help a friend in need, and is even willing to lend a hand to a complete stranger.
Employment: Waitress in the Talocan District nightclub The Masquerade
History: "Who cares what my history is, its not like anyone really cares for a lonely princess trapped in a dragon's lair? If the councelors back at school were successful everyone back in school would have no idea who I am if they ran into me, especially Ms. Lanteller. A little flower girl from the markets of Talocan, with flowers always a bit too cheap, with no place to call home? Even Irvene my roommate could care less about who I am, 'As long as you don't replace my make-up with bander slime again."
Sample line: "When will I stop being such a tease? The day my knight in shining armor kicks in the door and slays my dragon of a manager... What? You look the part. ...setting me free from this tiny pay check. Finally then my prey can rest easy."
|Heya Guys, wohoo, roleplay!|
Um okay, with more the formal introduction now. Greetings, my fellow dreamkeepers, my name is BryanDimmsdale, and as of today, I will show you my own character in case I want to join a role play. Though, I am planning this character to give an own fanfiction as stated in this thread I created here: http://www.dreamkeeperscomic.com/forum/?t=357, but as of now he can be in the roleplaying section. I am frankly new here; I hope to so you guys soon (if possible).
So here I go, tell me if there are some flaws with the character bio:
Name: Bryan Dimmsdale
Birthdate: September 21
Power: Powers are not yet known and not yet discovered by himself, however some say he is a pyrokinetic "spark combustion" type of person due to his dramatic personality/mood. Has an orange red halo when using his power.
"Spark Combustion" Pyrokinesis - is an ability to create a flame or fire by creating a friction by snapping his fingers or stomping his feet on the ground to create a "spark", much like a lighter, match, or striking rock mechanism where it needs friction to create fire. To further illustrate this power, there's a video similar to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFGRHodcFYM . Though not very accurate, but it represents the glipse of his power. Moving on...
Skills: Persistence might be the right word, since he's often pursuing another DK, despite the skill of that DK escaping him. He also have police and military training, so going toe to toe with this guy is probably not the best solution, especially if you're a real enemy to him.
Appearance: Fox/hound hybrid with peach brown fur, dark brown eyes, black nose, and thin eyelashes. He's 5'8" tall and medium sized. Wear specifically these types of clothing when not at work http://spectrum-vii.deviantart.com/art/A-study-in-jackets-2-military-style-426285747 , however he is often seen wearing his Troopers assault uniform.
Personality: Is typically a kind and energetic type, loves to befriend, and everybody's favorite companion, to his friends at least. XD He is quite optimistic about life, and doesn't want to feel lonely whenever possible. Compassionate and brotherly-figured is what his friends see in him.
But, not all wants to be with him because not only of him being a shock trooper, he has a bipolar condition, or mood-swings which others called it, (might be similar to Wisp) that has a tendency to switch every mood dramatically occasionally, and he talks to himself sometimes which is quite disturbing.
Employment: He is one of the Anduruna shocktroopers keeping peace and order in Anduruna. He's assigned mostly at Theophanies district, but sometimes his superiors would assigned him in different locations, frequently in Novondire and Calypsa.
His rank in the force at the moment is Private First Class.
(So, for those characters who are Troikas or doesn't like Troopers, well, let's just say you'll have some problems with this guy).
History: He is the only one religious (or prove me wrong here XD) in the Anduruna Shocktroopers division. He lives at the Theophanies District (Near East margin of the map). He's the only child in his family, and he and his parents lives separately; yet he seems happy about it, because he always talks and visits his parents occasionally and treats his friends as they were siblings. His friends, (was referring to the fanfic now) are Carlos Gonzalez, Xiao Wang Fei, Kaijin “K” Takamahara, Andrew Collins, and Diana Collins.
Bryan Dimmsdale is doing his usual everyday life: working, training, communicating to people, patrolling the streets, and doing household chores. He also hangout with his friends sometime (actually they are in his house/apartment most of the time XD) usually doing what friends do.
Sample Line (I got two actually):
"I care for you. Even though it may seem rough at times, but I'm always here for you. Don't let others think that I'm scolding you; I'm only upset because I'm worried about your safety. I won't arrest you because you're my friend; but please, don't do something stupid next time. If you really need help or something is disturbing you that may concern about others, just call me, and I'll take care of the rest, under the name of the law."
"The HEEEEECCCCKKKKK!!!!!" XD
|*Updated-Oct. 16, 2014*|
Hello again everybody! I have come here again to bring you my new and improved DK character profile! I would like to thank and credit Corvus for helping me on my character profile, and others too. But the since Corvus was busy with his personal work for the past 2 weeks and has not given me a response to one of my profile drafts, I have decided to go on and fill in the appropriate details and specifications for my dreamkeeper all by my self.
The reason why I am doing this now is because that I am planning to make a DK role-playing story with others in the near future, and I want to see whether or not my DK is appropriate enough, just by seeing your guys opinions. If you want to participate in it, send me a pm and I will try and see what I can do. I can't guarantee that the my role-playing story will come through cleanly, but who knows.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy reading this and tell me your thoughts! PEACE! :D
Name: Asora Vengel
Date of Birth: Aprilis 4, 1187
Appearance: Teenage wolf body with raccoon-like fur. He is 6 ft. 2 in. tall, and weighs around 135 pounds. He looks very fit and healthy.
Eye color in sclera part is white, followed by the iris having a blue/white multi color and having a grey pupil.
He usually wears an white T-shirt, black pants with multiple pockets, tan boots, and his fathers old leather-hooded jacket, and also carries a unique custom made sword.
Halo: It appears to have a unique retro/abstract design with a combination color of blue, white, and grey.
Power: Asora's power is the ability to increase his physical bodies durability towards great lengths.
The results of this power are truly helpful for Asora being in serious and life-threatening situations. Whenever he makes a sudden move while having activated his power, it allows his physical body to add more strength, agility, and resistance toward his moves, which result in more quicker and powerful reflexes towards his veteran-like skills. Another result is having to resist strong blows to his body, leaving his with only minor bruises. But, at a catch, if he uses his power for too long at full power, it will quickly drain his strength, leaving him vulnerable at times. That is why he needs to eat huge amounts of food after using his power so that he can regain his strength and gain extra calories to burn off.
Asora's secondary power is the capability to turn his physical body's energy to "chi blast", which appear to be flaming balls of blue gas that come out of his hands and resulting in huge amounts of both collateral and physical damage toward his surroundings and opponents.
Skills: Thanks to years of training from his father, Asora is a skilled melee fighter and acrobat, further aided in his travels by his mastery of his mind allowing him to shrug off the pain of his injuries for a time. The most impressive of skill he learned though is the ability to briefly speed up his reaction time, allowing himself to unleash a veritable storm of strikes at the cost of sapping his strength and endurance at an alarming rate. He can use this advantage into his power, but only when necessary. Asora is also an very good at sword sparing; that is why he carries around a unique custom edge combat sword blade made by his father, which he claims to mostly use it for defense purposes.
Affiliation: After the death of his father, Weston Vingel, Asora goes to the city of Anduruna, trying to send his father's journal to a man named "Richard Stanford", who was his father's best friend.
Personality: Asora has the heart of a humble man who would not sin. He is kind hearted, smart, and uses his wits to get out of tuff situations. He seems to be a pacifist according to others during tough situations, but in truth, Asora knows that if things get too far, he would have to make drastic measures; even though he has not killed anyone else in the past. If he gets into fights, he will try every thing he can to avoid it and come clean, and he will be willing to help others who are in personal need at times while on his journey. He also is straight, asexual, and abstinence, which means that he will befriends all kinds of people, but will not fall into affection towards one person and will rather stay single and be a virgin.
District: He was raised in the outskirts far away from Anduruna, but is now living with close friends and staying at their homes, those at which, are throughout the city.
Motive: Searching for his fathers closest friend, Richard Stanford, for trying to send him his father's journal.
Allies: Beings who Asora would befriend along his journey.
Enemies: Dark Dreamkeepers, Nightmares, Bandits, Gangs, and Anduruna Law Enforcement.
As long as he can remember, Asora was raised in a town in the outskirts outside of the city of Anduruna, with his father, Weston Vingel.
During his childhood, Asora was raised well, had many friends, and was very humble and always helped others in need. However, even though he looked liked he was living his life with no worries, he always wondered about his mother. Even though he wanted to question his father about his mother, he had second thoughts that maybe there was a huge conflict between them and didn't wanted to upset his father by reminding him. During his early life him and his father lived and trained for martial arts and meditated every single day. They have also worked as blacksmiths in the town that they lived in and created many weapons and other crafts. After many years, Asora's father gets sick due to a rare disease.
Shocked and worried by this, Asora spends his spare time with his father. Knowing that time was could be in the essence, Asora asks his father about his mother. So, due to this, Weston tells his son about what had happened. After the explanation, Asora was shocked with grief and frustration, knowing the truth that his mother just left home one night and was never seen again, leaving his father to believe that she could be dead by now. The only clues his father had found were the teared remains of her clothes, her bag, and a few stains of blood that were found on the clothes and on the ground.
Suddenly, Weston tells Asora something unexpected. He asks him to try and travel to the city of Anduruna and find a man named "Richard Stanford".
The reason being is that he wants Richard to know what he had encountered and overcome while his journey across the land, while putting these details in his book. Weston gives his son a map leading toward to city, including the layout of the city itself, his belongings, food, money, Stanford's last known location, and his journal. After having a conversation with his father, Asora agrees to leaving his father in bed in the care of his friends and head toward the city by next week. But after a couple of days, Weston sadly passes.
After many days dealing with the father he closely knew and trying to figure out how to execute his plan, Asora recovers from depression, and decides to pack up, say goodbye to his friends and neighbors of the town, and heads toward the city of Anduruna. But what awaits him along his journey will be tough and struggling for him, by meeting new friends and foes, facing new challenges, and completing his fathers last will.
But only the Spirits know what will be in store for him once he steps into the city of great wonder..........
Quote: "I had my reasons...we all did...for completing several, yet, difficult tasks all at once.......every once in a while. Then I found out one clue after another during this journey.......then fitted them together...and everything had changed."
P.S. - Same here Bryan.......
|Hello commrad! I just sent you a pm on your alt :D|
|Thanks brother! I got the pm all ready, but I have not yet replied to it. Sorry about that,but I will try and reply to your message as soon as possible. |
Also, I corrected some grammar details in my DK character profile, so you can read my corrected profile if you wish. Even though it wasn't really that big of a detail on the grammar, it's pleasing to see it more clean from errors.
I will see you in a bit brother! :D
|Wanna tell you, I feel very tickled with this character.|
If someone wants to give me an opinion, it would really be nice.
You don't have to, though.
~ ~ ~
Name: Abhainn Cailleach ("River Witch")
Sex: Female, Asexual, Gray Aromantic*
* Note that a Gray Aromantic may experience romantic attraction only a handful of instances in their lifetime.
Power: Spacial Rifts
Halo: Pale Bluish-Wisteria
~ While her Power is active, Abhainn's obsidian eyes turn the same color as her halo
Abhainn's Power allows her to map a square- or cubic-foot area in space, and convert it into a Rift. This Rift, by itself, will capture enemies until it is released. However, when two rifts are created, and linked together - for although many rifts can be made, rifts can only be linked in exclusive pairs - then they allow the transference of enemies and allies through space instantaneously. This Power requires "thinking with portals" in the extreme, and for this reason, Abhainn always seems "not quite all-there." Momentum, inertia, and all vectors are maintained consistently when being sent through, relative to the portal.
A dull blue amphibian or reptile of some sort, she has extremely smooth, fine scales that feel almost like skin. Notably, on her upper arms and across her upper-face (from the short muzzle upward), Abhainn is tattooed with the Gaelic knot pictured here: http://www.bandldavies.karoo.net/pictures/items5_1/dotknot1.gif her hair resembles rounded and violet-streaked sable feathers, and in lieu of a tail, she has a fan of matching feathers around the rear-third of her waist.
She wears ultramarine blue shorts, a matching tunic with no left sleeve, but a very long right bell sleeve; it shows off her toned navel well. She also dons a hooded iris blue cloak that seems almost like liquid fabric, and hugs her figure tightly when wrapped around her. She wears silver jewelry wrought into more Gaelic knots, but simpler, and triangular: the brooch, forehead amulet, large earrings, fixtures on her belt, and intricate bands around her left forearm are all adorned with rubies, as well.
Her dark eyes have a distant, distracted look to them, and her voice is very quiet.
No one is really sure where Abhainn comes from, other than that she was found as a tiny orphan in Norvondire. She has always been an oddity, never fully paying attention unless she's intellectually provoked, or just doing what she needs to do to get away to her reflection time. She was raised by monks, who found that she was strangely suited to their lifestyle: she took quickly to life in monastic cells, meditating and studying extensively.
The reason for her odd predilections is that Abhainn's Power has always, in small ways, been active. She exists physically only in the Dreamworld, but is often preoccupied with many other planes of existence. Though she is responsible and does not employ it, Abhainn's Spacial Rifts can tap into these distant spaces, and summon forth horrors which prey on Nightmares, dance with stars, or sprawl the seas...She constantly surveys her position, and ensures that not one of these things can enter the Dreamworld.
Abhainn also writes prolifically, and will spend hours deliberating and illustrating and penning her own poetry and prose. One of her manuscripts will surely go for millions of lucre in a hundred years' time, but for someone her age, she has impressive notoriety herself. Many of her writings make mention of the kinds of things she's seen in her meditations, but in indirect and symbolic ways that can be understood in everyday terms. It's an acquired taste, in literary respects.
|Yeah, that's definitely a fun character. Given the power, I'm guessing she's based on Chell?|
|EDIT: I did not know her name was Chell. I am only aware of the Portal mechanics, and an inkling of the sequel's story. I am red in the face.|
~ ~ ~
Not quite. I was thinking of Portal 2, and certain spells in Wakfu (the MMORPG). Raven from Teen Titans also had a heavy influence, as did some Lovecraftian "cosmic horror" touches. I will not deny it - Abhainn is a big fantasy literature geek, and fancies cosmic horror due to her own experiences. I'd also like to mention that even if she wanted to bring in the smallest of those horrors to slaughter a group of Nightmares, this would be grotesquely irresponsible and downright suicidal.
A thing which is predisposed to prey on the likes of Nightmares is something which no sane person wants in Anduruna. So, Abhainn refuses to even contemplate that option - for although she could ensure the destruction of most Nightmares with a proper Rift, she would at the same time seal her own doom and Anduruna's doom.
I'm thinking of also adding in some other personality traits, such as a fancy for apocalypse theories, and a certain taste for morbid distractions. She's also very good with systems and restraints: she knows how to make rules work for her, and has an interesting view on fortune. She believes that if you illuminate yourself to all the parameters for success, "luck doesn't matter at all."
|All right, so you pulled from a lot of different things. Still fun though.|
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